Our love story…
We met when I was very young, introduced by my parents. Our time spent together was usually during celebrations, family gatherings, as a treat for anything from losing a tooth to not feeling well, or as a reward for doing chores or getting good grades. Our young love was encouraged, but also managed, since neither of us possessed the resources to be together every day.
After years of being chaperoned, except for the occasional trysts during moments of unsupervised freedom, we were finally able to make the big commitment. There was plenty of alone time and plenty of money to make the honeymoon last and last…Hell yeah!
As we settled in to our lifetime commitment, we had many happy years and few disagreements. As time passed, we were there for each other for every triumph, defeat, and moment of boredom. We stayed true to our passions and even tried some new things; our love was dark, sweet, smooth and satisfying.
As the years passed, our attachment was undeniable to anyone who knew us, but it was slowly turning toxic. We were consumed by obsessive thoughts that we should never be apart from one another, spending time together as we shut out the rest of the world and sneaking around to inappropriately be with each other at work, in bathroom stalls, and parked in public lots.
Before our love would finally destruct, there would be years of frustration, emotional and physical pain, delusional thinking, and short separations that always ended thinking things would be different; we could control ourselves and be responsible this time!
I had been totally committed and desperately in-love for more than 40 years, but I was also broken and scarred from everything we had been through together; emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It was time to break the bond; I would need a support group of people who all loved in a very similar way, willingness to move away from the obsession, and a connection to a higher power of love and understanding…it worked and I was set free!
Some days are easy and some are very difficult, so I have taken it one day at a time, and now I have 13 months of being happily alone!
We still see each other quite often, in passing, I just nod and move along…it is a tiny world and it sometimes feels like everyone I see is able to enjoy the type of love that almost killed me.
I still think about the love and comfort, but then I remember the obsessive and compulsive life and the battle scars that I will wear forever.
I know if I ever want my love back, all I have to do is be like Eve and take the forbidden bite, but for today, I am not starving!