The past month has been a whirlwind of emotions and stress…turns out reality is more complicated than “Apriality”!
I am happy to be moving on, but I did learn a few things about myself whilst in the chaos:
- I need and want a routine in place for my life – I am accepting life on life’s terms, but the routine helps to keep me from derailing.
- Being home and totally comfortable is vital to my zen – I can deal with anything thrown my way as long as I can come home and regroup.
- There is no reason for me to feel stuck – everything changes in time, both the good and the bad, and I will move forward as long as I have patience, humor and faith.
I also did two things I was not planning on doing:
- I found a therapist to help me maintain my abstinence and develop new coping strategies, since food is no longer an option.
- After 457 days of logging everything I eat into the MyFitnessPal app, it was a wonderful tool for weight-loss and accountability, I have moved on to using the TwoGrand app. My goal in life is to refrain from compulsive overeating, maintain my abstinence, and eat as “normally” as I can – calorie counting makes me feel obsessive, controlling, judgmental and compulsive about my food choices. I have known how to count calories most of my life, that knowledge isn’t going anywhere, but that doesn’t mean I have to see them in black & white every day and drive myself fucking nuts!